Through Their Eyes

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I love Kristin Andreaseen's "Crayola Doesn't Make a Color to Draw My Love." She produced a great music video with a class of second graders at Conservatory Lab Charter School in Brighton, MA. It's on YouTube, if you'd like to listen (hopefully the link below works). You can also buy it on iTunes. Her song says there isn't a Crayola color that captures the true color of the eyes of those she loves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EELEjeYzfjM

As I listened to Kristin's song, I thought of the eyes of the children who captured my heart when I first came to KZ in 2000. Today these children still hold my heart captive. Without speaking a word, their eyes express volumes whether anyone notices or not. Their eyes ask such questions as "What will this person bring into my life?" "Where did they come from?" "What is life like there?" Some children push and shove to touch any new visitor, while others hold back watching what is happening. Either way these children are expressing a desperate need to know they are valued and that someone cares. That is what was shouted in 2000 when I first came and what is still being shouted today to anyone who has eyes to see and heart to hear.

How does a child face the world when she or he is all alone? How does a child learn to be a man or a woman when there is no one to teach him? What have these children seen through their eyes? I've heard some of their stories and they have broken my heart. Sometimes I wonder how I can hear one more story. Then, I wonder how can I not. If I do not listen, I leave them alone with their stories of heartache and pain. I leave them with no one to acknowledge the truth that their pain matters and is important. To know that someone cares, that they are valued, and that the pain they feel is cared about will move those who hurt beyond pain and offer hope to reach toward tomorrow. By holding onto hope, people survived the Holocaust and many other atrocities. There are so many stories from people who made it through great horrors because someone gave them the hope that they were valued, treasured and important. Hope enabled them to hold on and persevere.

This is not about condemning the staff at the orphanages here. Most of them do try to provide the children's basic needs. I have seen great care and compassion from the caregivers who see unimaginable needs. There just isn't enough money, supplies, food or staff to go around. These women and men, many of whom have families and children of their own, work long days for little pay. Their lives, as well, are full of brokenness and heartache. And there is little hope of circumstances improving for them. How do you give when you have nothing to give?

What more often happens in the orphanages is that whoever is bigger and stronger gets to kick around the smaller and weaker. That, of course, is what is passed on from the older to the younger kids. What do children do who grow up being bullied and picked on and who have to scrap for everything in life? The fact is they simply experience the survival of the fittest - at it's best or worse, depending on your point of view. I've seen eyes that manage to hold onto hope one year slip away and dim the next because of the harsh realities of day to day life. My heart breaks when I see the weariness, hopelessness, and despair replace the innocence of possibilities.

I cry out at night for these children and for the beauty that was created in each precious one. Not one is a mistake and each is uniquely and wonderfully made. How can their hope not be dashed to pieces? How can they learn that they truly are important and valued? How can they be encouraged to work diligently and persevere. How can they know that perseverance is a gift? I don't know the answers to all the questions, but I do know the questions won't stop my reaching out and doing what I can.

I cannot rescue or whisk these kids from their circumstances. Perhaps, however, I can provide some encouragement which will bring small, yet significant, changes. Perhaps my offer to be a friend who will walk alongside will make a difference. I have had those who have walked beside me when I had lost hope, when I despaired for what the future held. These people couldn't change the path that was mine to walk but they could - and did - make it less lonely. During times I walked alone, they encouraged and pointed me towards the Truth. Now, I can pass that great gift along.









Thank you, dear friends, for being with me in this part of the next chapter in my life. My heart is heavy for these children, but I am honored that I can be a small part of their lives.

There are almost 100 children who have "graduated" this spring. Each will have to leave their orphanage in August. The local orphanages and officials have told us there is alternative housing for only half of these children. That leaves some fifty children with no place to go. Imagine fifty 15 and 16 year-olds being put out on the street. Oh, how my heart breaks. Oh, how I wish I had the $50,000 to purchase a house to open for these children. The government would pay a small stipend for each child so the house would be self-supporting. Oh, dear friends, remember my heart and this situation. I'm asking Papa for a door or window to open and for a house to be provided if that is HIS will.

Thank you for your encouraging words, support and treasured friendships. May each of you enjoy the beauty around you. Take time to reach out to those who are along your path and in the pages of your life.

Love,
Vicki