Through Their Eyes

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I love Kristin Andreaseen's "Crayola Doesn't Make a Color to Draw My Love." She produced a great music video with a class of second graders at Conservatory Lab Charter School in Brighton, MA. It's on YouTube, if you'd like to listen (hopefully the link below works). You can also buy it on iTunes. Her song says there isn't a Crayola color that captures the true color of the eyes of those she loves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EELEjeYzfjM

As I listened to Kristin's song, I thought of the eyes of the children who captured my heart when I first came to KZ in 2000. Today these children still hold my heart captive. Without speaking a word, their eyes express volumes whether anyone notices or not. Their eyes ask such questions as "What will this person bring into my life?" "Where did they come from?" "What is life like there?" Some children push and shove to touch any new visitor, while others hold back watching what is happening. Either way these children are expressing a desperate need to know they are valued and that someone cares. That is what was shouted in 2000 when I first came and what is still being shouted today to anyone who has eyes to see and heart to hear.

How does a child face the world when she or he is all alone? How does a child learn to be a man or a woman when there is no one to teach him? What have these children seen through their eyes? I've heard some of their stories and they have broken my heart. Sometimes I wonder how I can hear one more story. Then, I wonder how can I not. If I do not listen, I leave them alone with their stories of heartache and pain. I leave them with no one to acknowledge the truth that their pain matters and is important. To know that someone cares, that they are valued, and that the pain they feel is cared about will move those who hurt beyond pain and offer hope to reach toward tomorrow. By holding onto hope, people survived the Holocaust and many other atrocities. There are so many stories from people who made it through great horrors because someone gave them the hope that they were valued, treasured and important. Hope enabled them to hold on and persevere.

This is not about condemning the staff at the orphanages here. Most of them do try to provide the children's basic needs. I have seen great care and compassion from the caregivers who see unimaginable needs. There just isn't enough money, supplies, food or staff to go around. These women and men, many of whom have families and children of their own, work long days for little pay. Their lives, as well, are full of brokenness and heartache. And there is little hope of circumstances improving for them. How do you give when you have nothing to give?

What more often happens in the orphanages is that whoever is bigger and stronger gets to kick around the smaller and weaker. That, of course, is what is passed on from the older to the younger kids. What do children do who grow up being bullied and picked on and who have to scrap for everything in life? The fact is they simply experience the survival of the fittest - at it's best or worse, depending on your point of view. I've seen eyes that manage to hold onto hope one year slip away and dim the next because of the harsh realities of day to day life. My heart breaks when I see the weariness, hopelessness, and despair replace the innocence of possibilities.

I cry out at night for these children and for the beauty that was created in each precious one. Not one is a mistake and each is uniquely and wonderfully made. How can their hope not be dashed to pieces? How can they learn that they truly are important and valued? How can they be encouraged to work diligently and persevere. How can they know that perseverance is a gift? I don't know the answers to all the questions, but I do know the questions won't stop my reaching out and doing what I can.

I cannot rescue or whisk these kids from their circumstances. Perhaps, however, I can provide some encouragement which will bring small, yet significant, changes. Perhaps my offer to be a friend who will walk alongside will make a difference. I have had those who have walked beside me when I had lost hope, when I despaired for what the future held. These people couldn't change the path that was mine to walk but they could - and did - make it less lonely. During times I walked alone, they encouraged and pointed me towards the Truth. Now, I can pass that great gift along.









Thank you, dear friends, for being with me in this part of the next chapter in my life. My heart is heavy for these children, but I am honored that I can be a small part of their lives.

There are almost 100 children who have "graduated" this spring. Each will have to leave their orphanage in August. The local orphanages and officials have told us there is alternative housing for only half of these children. That leaves some fifty children with no place to go. Imagine fifty 15 and 16 year-olds being put out on the street. Oh, how my heart breaks. Oh, how I wish I had the $50,000 to purchase a house to open for these children. The government would pay a small stipend for each child so the house would be self-supporting. Oh, dear friends, remember my heart and this situation. I'm asking Papa for a door or window to open and for a house to be provided if that is HIS will.

Thank you for your encouraging words, support and treasured friendships. May each of you enjoy the beauty around you. Take time to reach out to those who are along your path and in the pages of your life.

Love,
Vicki

Safflower - Flores Carthami - Carthamus Tinctorium L.

I have been wondering for weeks what this flower was and the answer came from someone right in the home where I'm living. Talgat frequently goes to the mountains to collect herbs and roots to make tea and such. Today I thought to show him my blog and ask him what the plant in the picture was. I also told him I see it on the way to Shimkent. Now, I want you to realize I am having this conversation in Kazakh or broken Kazakh to be more exact, but he understood me and was able to tell me it was Safflower. I confirmed this by looking it up on the internet and low and behold the picture matched what I was seeing in the fields. I was so excited.

I also learned a lot more about the plant. The website said it's origin is from the Mediterranean, but also talked about it's Turkish roots. Sometimes it is referred to the weaker or lesser saffron. According to the web it does not have value as a spice to add flavor but in countries like Azerbaijan it is used for it's ability to add color to the meal. The flowers are also used to dye textiles. We know it as an oil. Saffower oil contains triglycerides of the doubly unsaturated linoleic acid (70%) and triple unsaturated linolinic acid (10%) and high levels of Vitamin E and iodine making it highly desired by health conscious people.

Well, this may be far more than you ever wanted to know about Safflower, but I am delighted to know what it is. One of the reasons I didn't want to leave Virginia was I knew the plant, bug and wildlife around me. I knew what snakes I could pick up, what flowers and plant life I valued and what bugs to beware of. It is fun to learn new things here. Sometimes it is a challenge with the language barrier but that also gives me more motivation to learn the language.

Have a beautiful day, dear friends. Take a moment to enjoy the beauty around where ever you are at the moment. In essence take the time to smell the roses, to enjoy the quiet moments, to tell those people in your lives who you treasure just how much you do treasure them.
My love to you all,
Vicki

Someone PLEASE help me identify this flower!

I need someone's help please. This flower which looks like a thistle but is yellow and orange is grown here in southern Kazakhstan in large fields in rows. Many times there are large fields of lavender next to or near these fields. They seem to let this flower grow and dry before harvesting. I have no idea what it is used for or what it is. It grows to about 2 feet or so in hight.
Thank you in advance for all your help. I've tried looking it up on the internet but haven't found anything yet.





Thank you dear friends for your notes and encouraging words.
Love
Vicki

Celebrating Kazakh Style

Sunday, July 5th, I had the great pleasure and joy of going to the edge of Taraz for a picnic with friends. These friends opened their picnic and hearts to us who are foreigners. In many ways the time was similar to any neighborhood picnic or family BBQ and it felt familiar to me on so many levels. I relaxed and enjoyed myself fully.



The menu was slightly different but if you look at the basics of meat, veggies, bread and soda, it was the same. There was one big difference, however, and that was the meat. Now, in the States I ate a lot of meats many Americans don't typically eat - lamb, goat, deer, rabbit, wild turkey, for example. Here horse and sheep are the norm and this picnic had both. The large pot below held up by a circular tube which holds the fire inside. The large pot is filled with horse parts and then towards the end sheep is added. Evidently horse takes longer to cook. The fat, along with the meat, is included. That old riddle "Jack Sprat could eat no fat and his wife could eat no lean" takes on new meaning here. Fat is a valued part of the meal, not a part to be given to the dog or thrown away.



The women and men who are in charge of cooking stirred this mixture most of the morning - until a knife pierced each piece easily. Then all the meat and chunks of fat were laddled out and taken inside the Yurta (traditional Kazakh tent). There the meat was cut up into smaller pieces.



When I first walked out back to see what was going on, I wasn't sure if they would appreciate me intruding but I was warmly welcomed. They worked hard to explain what was going on even with the lack of much language understanding between us. You would be surprised what can be conveyed with hand motions and a few words!! One gentleman conveyed a story I've heard before. The wolf eats the most meat and Kazakh's eat the second most meat. That I can believe. I'm always amazed at the amount of meat Kazakh's eat. Not being a big meat eater myself, so this can be a struggle for me. On this day the women cutting up the meat insisted I taste some of the choice pieces. I have to say the meat was very tender and tasty. I ate both sheep and horse.



Once the meat is taken out, noodles are added. The fat in the water is not drained out before putting the noodles in because Kazakhs think the fat in the water is good for you. When the noodles are cooked, they are scooped onto large platers and thinly sliced onions and chunks of meat and fat are added. The platters are placed several to each table. Generally Kazakhs eat with their fingers from community platters. Americans, however, are given a plate or bowl. I've gotten fairly use to the community way and am comfortable with that - depending on who I'm sitting with.

Since I was in and out of the Yurt, the women kept wanting me to taste various things. By the time the meal was served at the table, I was stuffed. I did sit down for a short time and one sweet little girl decided my lap was the lap to sit on. Children go in and out of the tent as the food is being prepared getting handouts. When the meal is served children crawl onto laps - anyone's lap! Children don't stay with their parents and everyone feeds them. Children also run by the tables with their hands out and they are passed whatever they have asked for. I enjoyed having this sweet girl on my lap and passing food to various children that squeezed by me. Once the kids figured out I generously passed out candy, they knew where to come for more. When my lap companion had had enough and left, I decided I'd also rather be up moving around with the kids and the cooking crew.





The couple below was so sweet. He is the one who told me about wolves and Kazakhs. She was the one who patiently explained and explained till I understood what she was saying with my limited words. She also wanted me to taste everything. Horse, sheep, mares' milk, camels' milk, and the broth they drink that is left after all the meat and pasta is removed from the water. If it sits too long it will jell into a solid. I tasted it but couldn't get much down. I'm not sure if it was actually the taste or the knowledge of what it was and what my arteries were thinking.

While she was cutting the meat, her head scarf fell off. Her husband refolded it and tied it back around her head. It was so cute seeing these two together and his kindness to her.



These two women were also very sweet. They looked like little china dolls. People from all ages attended, laughing and enjoying each other. Children ran around playing and wrestling. One young man had a bow and an arrow with a suction cup at the end. I could make faces and say simples words, chasing and tickling just like I would do at home. The children didn't seem to notice I didn't speak their language. They also enjoyed posing for the camera and then seeing their picture on the back of the camera.









Chewing on the bones is acceptable, expected and desired. Most bones are cracked open giving access to the bone marrow that is suppose to be very good for you. I made a great sacrifice and gave my bone away. I love this picture of this little boy with this huge bone. Beth and I snuck one bone for a dog down the street because it seemed a shame not to let him have one, too.













When Marc and Sarah came to Kazakhstan in 2002, they returned home with the idea of how much alike the Kazakhs and we are. Marc and Sarah hadn't focused on what was different but saw what is the same. The love of family and friends, the desire of families to take care of each other and be with each other. Isn't there more that is the same between us than different? Seeing beauty in each person - each who has been uniquely and wonderfully made - sometimes takes more effort but brings so much more reward.

Sunday I definitely saw the things which cross borders, race, age, politics and such. I had the joy of being among people who were enjoying each other's company and who generously welcomed a stranger among them. I hope I will always generously open my heart and home to strangers who may come my way. I was blessed beyond measure that day with the opportunity to share in their meal.

I am blessed each day with the gift of friendships near and far. I cannot tell you each how much I value your sweet correspondence. It touches my heart and encourages me, especially during those moments I want to share what is on my heart but cannot because I don't yet have the words to express myself. Nonetheless, I still desire that my actions convey my heart and can be understood without words. May you each be enjoying those around you that you. Don't take for granted those you love and treasure. Thank you for joining me in this next chapter.
Vicki

A trip to Shimkent

It seems like my days - and now my weeks - are bursting at the seams with activities. There are moments when I know I'm not taking everything in that is happening around me because I'm already so full with so much that has happened! I'm not complaining but understand what I share is just the tip of the iceberg of what is going on here. Sometimes I think back and realize I haven't valued the moment I had right before me, though I desire to treasure each moment I am given, no matter how exciting or simple it is. I am only promised today and I desire to make the most of it and enjoy each blessing given just for this day.



Wednesday, late afternoon, Beth and I headed to Shimkent for various work reasons which I'll share below. I love this drive as it resonates somehow with my heart. I have mentioned before my love of living on a farm and working with various types of animals. Well, livestock of all kinds are still to be seen everywhere here - even in a city like Taraz. The importance of livestock to a family becomes clearer when driving through the villages, especially in the late afternoons or early mornings.



Shepherding is still a vital profession here. A shepherd's sheep, goats, cattle, and horses are vital to his family's well being. Meat and milk from goats, cattle, and horses are used to feed a family and a sheep's wool is used for making clothes. These are just a few of the staples these animals bring a family. The shepherd's job may not seem exciting as he sits and watches animals all day, but when the moments come that he is called to defend his livestock all his resources and strength are required! A shepherd also needs to understand the weather and the land to safely guide his flock/herd to green grass during the day and then bring them home at night. One of the things I think is so fun is to see is how this is done.

Each morning families open their gates and stand waiting for the shepherd to come down the road to collect their animals - kind of like parents waiting for the bus to pick up their children for school. These animals know the routine and wait patiently without lead or halters for the shepherd to come down the lane collecting this large herd of animals and to take them out into the grass lands for the day. This process is reversed in the evening. Families wait outside their gates along the road. The shepherd enters the village pushing the herd on ahead of him. The cows are anxious to be milked and all the animals know what gate and family is theirs. They stop at their family's gate, turn and step through. An amazing sight to see, even if it requires a delay when driving down the same road. The animals have no concept that they should give right away to a car and so, of course, they don't.


I still enjoy the various "vehicles" that share the road at the same time. And I'm always interested in how things are done here, things that are not right or wrong - just different.



Beth was kind enough to stop and let me get several pictures of this sweet donkey and her foal that were on the side of the road. I just love the little donkeys that seem to be everywhere. Sometime I'll have to tell you all a story I wrote last fall about a little donkey named Troubled Cherished. I am so thankful for Beth's great patience for my picture taking needs. Thank you, Beth.







After some amazing sights we arrived in Shimkent. Beth had some "director" things she needed to attend to at our Shimkent office. I was to supervise a team of students arriving from Oxford, along with a group of young adults from Indiana. They were coming to paint the library in our English center which was in desperate need of painting. I also wanted to see the sweet children in Dr. Lori's clinic who come in daily for PT. I brought a bag of beanie babies and match box cars which were quite a hit with the children who were then allowed to take their gift home. These children have families. Dr. Lori's clinic gives families support, hope and encouragement in caring for these precious children. A couple of these children really responded to me when they saw me - they seemed to actually remember me, though I had been there only once before. I wish I could have spent more time with them but I had painting to do. I just love their sweet faces. The staff at Dr. Lori's clinic does an amazing job with these children.







Now, buying paint in Kazakhstan is an adventure in itself with a huge learning curve and a lesson in patience. Before coming to Skimkent, Kiikzhan and I went to three stores to buy the paint for the library. Now, in order to have the colors I wanted, it was going to cost per drop of added color in each liter of paint (25 liters) or I could by the colorant and mix it myself. As you probably guessed, I choose the mix-it-myself method. Of course, I left my big paddle mixer that attaches to my drill back in Virginia along with my extension rods for rollers. Oh, and mentioning rollers and roller trays - they have rollers here and roller trays BUT the roller tray is two inches shorter than the roller?!?!!? What can I say? I can say it is different! I'll have some Purdy paint brushes, Purdy Dove roller covers, and roller handles brought over - those "little things" taken for grant. Even with these minor setbacks the team was able to paint three of the five rooms. After painting, the books were all put back and the rooms looked great. I mixed a sage green, a yellow, a robins-egg blue, and a blue-green. The front area is the sage green and yellow, the next room is blue, and the next is the yellow with the 14 inch thick doorways painted blue-green. The library is very large, so using varied colors help break-up the rooms, as well as add interest to the library.




Thursday evening Beth took time out of her busy schedule to help me paint. Together we got a little more done for that day. In order for three rooms to be completed and put back together before the team left on Friday. I'll come back in a couple weeks and finish off the last two rooms.







Beth and I left Shimkent Friday around 5 o'clock. We couldn't leave much later because we really didn't want to be driving at night. The weather also looked like a huge storm was coming in. As we were just passing the outside the limits of the city, Beth commented on being relieved about getting past all the police stops with no problems. Well, she spoke too soon. Suddenly a police car with flashing lights pulled past us motioning for us to pull over. We couldn't imagine what was wrong . Beth was not speeding and had her lights on, which is law here. The officer asked for her car papers and said something about the licence tag. We were both like what? Did it fall off or get stolen?" Here, when you are a foreigner, your tag is a different color. Our yellow tag stands out, so most people aren't going to want to steal a foreigner's tag. We both hopped out to check but, when we looked at the back of the car, the tag was obviously in place. As we were looking, the officer waved down a big truck coming from the other direction. I was thinking he was trying to 'multi-task" and give two tickets at once. What he actually was doing was getting tools from that driver to take off our tags because he said they were forged. Again, we were like What? They aren't forged!!" Anyway, he went on doing his thing at which point Beth thought it was time to call a national friend and let him know what was happening. I, in the mean time, had nothing of use to add to the situation since I can't speak much of the language. I had no idea of anything that could be helpful to the situation. But one thought did go through my mind. "This would make a great picture!" I asked Beth, as she was calling Aben, if I could get my camera out. She said it couldn't hurt, so I did.

It was quite funny. As I clicked the picture below, you can see he was not happy. He said something, but I indicated I was going to keep on taking pictures no matter what. Well, you have never seen someone reverse course so fast. He put the front tag back on, went around the car and put the back tags on all the while reversing his tune. Beth was trying to get him to talk on the phone with Aben, but he wouldn't, saying, "Problem jok, no problem!" He asked for a tissue for his dirty fingers, which I gave him, and then he jumped in his car, turned around in the road and sped off. We got in our car, looked at each other and laughed. You never know what is going to happen in Kazakhstan and how fast things can change.



The rest of the trip was uneventful. Storms were all around but never directly over us so driving was never difficult; however, there were spectacular lightening displays in the not-to-far distance. The fields of flowers (below) were beautiful! Beth was again patient and stopped for me to take a closer picture. If anyone knows what these flowers are, please let me know. I'd be ever so thankful. They are planted in rows, so they aren't wild. They look like thistles except are they are gorgeous yellows and oranges.



When I got back in the car, Beth said she began to wonder if it had been a bad idea for her to stop for me to take pictures. She said she didn't know how she would tell Edith, Lois and Chip that I had been struck by lightening while taking pictures of flowers on the side of the road. I said they knew me well enough to know that they wouldn't be surprised. I had actually taken a look around and thought the storms weren't close enough to be in real danger. I got some great shots. If you want to see more pictures of this trip, you can click on the album link on the right top, then double click on the album you desire to view.





Thank you dear, family and friends, for joining me in this next chapter of my life's tale. I love the above picture. It reminds me to slow down and enjoy the things around me. I want to remember each detail of this new life. As I remember back, I realize how much I took for granted. I desire not to waste anymore time or take for grant the sweet friendships I have been given. Please be sure to let me know how you are doing, too.

His mercies, grace and peace to each of you,
Vicki