TRUST AND OBEDIENCE!

(Sarah and Edith sorting through Sarah's room!) what a mess!!! Way to much stuff!!



Dear Friends and Family:

This week has been a test of strength, endurance, trust and obedience...  Our lives are turned upside down and I'm feeling the effects.  

I'm trusting in HIS good will for my life and trying to be obedient in the big and small things in life..  but... Oh, I am struggling...

Yesterday morning I called my mentor and dear friend crying and overwhelmed.  The money for the August trip didn't all come in; It no longer looked like Sarah and I had a definite place to move to on Sunday; and my beloved dog, KC is going to her "new" family Friday 27 June  TODAY... I love this silly dog and find great comfort in having her near.  

 I know I am suppose to move to Kazakhstan (I still know it beyond a shadow of a doubt) BUT this business of giving/selling almost all my worldly possessions, giving up my dog, and trusting everything is going to work out is HARD!!!!  Doing the "right" thing.. the thing I know I am suppose to do does not always FEEL GOOD.... UGH!!!!  

Things were so bad yesterday morning while I was talking with my mentor I was also walking around the house trying to pack.  With our house being upside down "my" routine has been turned upside down.  I am such a creature of habit... As I am talking with Edith I was looking for my cell phone "AS I TALKED" mind you..  I finally blurted out "I can't even find my cell phone this morning!"  After a long pause, Edith starts laughing.. Well, I can tell you I didn't think that was very helpful... She then asked me what I was doing?  I explained trying to find my cell phone..  Then it dawned on me;  I WAS TALKING ON MY CELL PHONE TO EDITH!!!  Oh, my gosh... I've lost it... One day I will laugh about it.  

Being obedient in the face of adversity and when what "I" want is different then what my counsel is advising is one of my most difficult challenges.  I'm use to making my own decisions and doing what I want.  I'm a single mother who has struggled and faced my giants all to many times alone.  I wouldn't accept help  or guidance out of fear.  I wouldn't trust God or anyone else..  How sad.. All the joys and blessings I gave away through the years.

Having to face the facts that the monies didn't come in for the August trip.  Lots of you did send your support and I thank you so much, but I was still a little over a $1000.00 short.  Edith and I had prayed that the funds would be provided by the 23rd of June and I kept thinking the rest would come in the next day.  Yesterday, I had to defer to Edith and her great wisdom and trust in God's perfect will for my life.  I honestly couldn't make the decision not to go on the August trip.  I love those children so much and my heart aches to see them, hold them in my arms and see their sweet faces.  I told her I would trust her wisdom and guidance.  I did ask her to make the calls for me for I didn't think I was up to it.  Thankfully she did..  My heart is still sad and the tears are still flowing, but I was able to get a lot accomplish yesterday and sleep some last night.  I keep thinking come Feb 2009 I will get to see these children all the time.  Next summer I'll be there the entire summer not just to weeks..  

My heart is in conflict and turmoil as I give my beloved dog away, give most of my worldly possessions away, give up the security of a permanent place to live in contrast my heart is excited to finally be closer to working full time with the precious children of Kazakhstan.  Looking forward to this great adventure that I have the privilege of being part of.  Oh what a mess I am..  :o)

Thank you each and everyone for your friendship and encouraging words.  Keep us in your thoughts today and the rest of this weekend as this chapter of our lives close.  

Desperately holding on to the promises...

Vicki