Sunday, July 6, 2008

"Life is ITCHY"





A friend told me once that "I" was itchy!

Now, the story behind that comment is: I was hired to re-organize, re-arrange, paint a mural, paint all the walls - basically I turned this store upside down - changing just about everything. These were good and much needed changes, but the store had been basically the same for 10 - 15 years... a long time... Well, Harry, who had worked at this store 30 plus years doesn't like change of any kind. I on the other hand generally do like a little change. ( I like to re-arrange my house just because...) Anyway one morning Harry walked in and his "little" area had been affected by "my" re-organizing. Harry stopped breath deep looked at me and said; "You are itchy!"
I burst out with laughter. How amazingly accurate that statement is.
It is easy not to like "bad" changes, but good changes or neutral changes are uncomfortable... "ITCHY!"
Well, let me tell you "MY" life is very itchy at the moment.
I'm having trouble falling into my new "normal", my new routine, my new comfort.. Right now I'm just ITCHY and can't itch the itch... ugh...
I'm missing my beloved dog, KC!!! GREAT news is she is doing great with her new family AND even better news I'M GOING TO DINNER TONIGHT AT HER HOUSE!!!! I'm happy to be seeing Peter, Amy, Sarah, and Chris (her new family) But really happy to be seeing her..
I went to the dog park on Tuesday just to do something "normal". I missed having KC there, but oh, how my heart lept to see all my four legged friends. My human friends at the dog park have been a huge source of encouragement. I knew they held a special place in my heart. (these are people I saw almost everyday!) But the have been a great comfort to my soul during this time. I have gotten calls and emails with encouragements and offers of help.
THANK YOU BANDY FIELD FRIENDS!!! Some of the best people in Richmond, Virginia hang out in the back of Bandy Field....
Trying to find my "new" routine has been difficult.... not bad just uncomfortable and unknown... YET in the mist of my world literally being turned upside down I have this joy and anticipation that my steps are getting closer to the dream and desire that has been in my heart since October 2000.. To live in the land who captured my heart; Kazakhstan... to work with the children who's faces I long to see and to love them with all my heart, mind and soul...
I've said for several years now that when I come back from a trip to Kazakhstan I feel like I'm leaving home and going to a foreign land coming back here। Now, that feeling has become even more intense। I have no home here, I have very few belongings, I'm living out of a suitcase and rest my head different places at night.... My hear longs for "home"। Home in a land I was not born in, but have grown to love through the people and especially the children. God has placed in my heart a deep love I cannot explain with mere words. A love that makes all the sacrifices worth the price.
Thank you dear friends who have been there along this path of my journey. I feel a lot like Bilbo Bagging in the Lord of the Rings. As a Hobbit he wasn't suppose to go on great adventures or quest. Hobbits stay home.. He wasn't strong, quick witted, a hero in the sense of the word. He was clumsy, not the very brightest, yet he was chosen for the quest.. He was the one to carry the ring.. He had a task only he could accomplish not in his strength, but he was still the one who had to do the walking on the path.
I too, never imagined I would willingly give away my belongings and beloved pets to go to a foreign land. I like Virginia thank you very much!!! I dreamed of a farm with horses and other animals in the middle of 200 acres with kids running in and out. A place where my children would grow up and come back with their children and grand children. Someplace to plant my roots deep... Now, I'm willing to be a nomad and move half way 'round the world.
I'm not articulate or eloquent in speech, not quick witted or the smartest, I have a mixed bag of gifting - Jack of all trades. Master of none - I'm not a doctor or great scholar, nor great business person or rich, But I have been given this great privilege to go and be the hands and arms for love to pour out of.
I dreamed of a large family with lots of children to love and care for. My big dream in life was being a Mother. God has granted me that in my two precious children here and in the many children in Kazakhstan. How He has poured HIS great blessings into my life. The painting isn't quite what I imagined, but I know that HIS plan for my life is exactly what I have been created for and I am so excited even if I'm still itching from minor changes...
May you each enjoy the many blessings and joys given just for today. May your joy bubble over to all those you meet..
My love and gratitude to you all...
Vicki

1 comment:

Debbie@Like a Rose said...

I love the "itchy" metaphor. The best part is that I know in my heart that, once you're settled in Kaz, the itch will be scratched.

Rocky & I knew in 2000 that you would be one of the ones to go back long term at some point. You will be a great asset to the team. You are in our thoughts.